The Last Time
by angellwings
Summary: He almost didn't hear her, and even now he couldn't be sure of what she actually said. Mostly because after everything they'd been through how could she want him to stay? He wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see his face again. Lyatt. Post S2. One shot.


**A/N:** So this story is short but I realized I had a Lyatt Things You Said in my tumblr inbox that I never addressed so I asked my angst brigade to give me a dialogue prompt to go with it which is the second prompt. I was going to post this in my Things You Said Through Time Collection but this felt like it needed to be on it's own. Hope you like it!

 _Prompt #1: Lyatt 3 - things you said too quietly (cutelittleancientfury)_

 _Prompt #2: "Don't Go."_

Happy reading!

angellwings

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The Last Time

By Angellwings

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" _This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong,  
This is the last time I say it's been you all along,  
This is the last time I let you in my door,  
This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore."_

 _-The Last Time, Taylor Swift (ft. Gary Lightbody)_

* * *

"Don't go."

He almost didn't hear her, and even now he couldn't be sure of what she actually said. Mostly because after everything they'd been through how could she want him to stay? He wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see his face again. Hell, even he could barely look at his own face in the mirror every morning. He'd given up shaving just to avoid it. So, when he thought about it, there was no way he heard her correctly. Her quiet plea for him to stay was nothing more than his own wishful thinking.

He continued on his way out of her bedroom. He'd only come to bring her lunch. When Lucy Preston was in high gear she didn't stop. Not to eat, not to sleep, and not to talk. Not unless someone forced her hand. He'd set the plate directly on top of the book she was reading and then immediately turned to go. This was the extent of their interactions since they saved Rufus. It was their new status quo. He wrecked what they once had so completely that silent care taking was all they had left.

They never talked. They never touched. They rarely even looked each other in the eye.

That was exactly why she couldn't possibly ask him to stay. He imagined it.

But as his hand landed on the door handle he heard her again, louder this time.

"Don't go. Please, Wyatt."

He swallowed thickly and took a deep fortifying breath as he turned to face her. She set the book and the sandwich aside and then stood from her cot and crossed the room to him. He didn't move as she stepped into his space and he certainly didn't reach out to touch her. He wanted to. God, did he ever want to. But he couldn't. He didn't deserve to touch her, not after letting her think that she was second best. Not after he hurt her so completely. He broke every promise he ever made and it only took him a matter of weeks to do it. He felt the sting of tears as a fresh wave of guilt washed over him. He couldn't refuse her request for him to stay. He couldn't refuse her anything anymore. But he didn't understand why she was asking.

Her soft caress was suddenly trailing over his cheek and he sucked in a surprised breath.

Goddamnit if her touch didn't feel like the redemption he'd never be able to earn.

"I don't know how we move forward," she admitted. "I can't figure it out on my own, Wyatt."

"Yes, you can," he assured her as his eyes closed and his traitorous body leaned into her touch. "Emma's in charge now and she's a hell of a lot easier to figure out than Keynes. Besides, you're brilliant. You can outsmart her any day."

Her hand slid back even further into his hair and he had to bite back a groan. He couldn't think properly with her hands offering him undeserved comfort and relief.

"I wasn't talking about Rittenhouse," she said with a heavy sigh. "I was talking about us."

His eyes sprung open as soon as the word "us" left her lips. His eyes met the full force of her amber orbs, imploring him to hear her, and he felt the entire world stop turning. His deer in the headlights expression seemed to urge Lucy on because she stepped even closer and pressed her forehead to his.

"Y-you told me you loved me and then you pulled away." Her voice sounded soft and bewildered in addition to the ever present layer of hurt he couldn't escape. "I don't know what you've been thinking or feeling or what you think you're ready for and each day that passes it seems unlikely that I ever will because you won't talk to me. You won't even look at me. I know I never said the words back to you and I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry if that made you pull away but I...I can't sort out the mess in my head and my heart if you pull away from me. We've been through hell and we're still standing. Don't give up on me _now_ , after we've made it through mostly intact."

His hands curled into fists at his sides as the urge to pull her against him grew stronger.

Was she saying that there was hope? That against all odds she still wanted him the way he wanted her? She pulled back and then cupped his face with her hands. Forcing him to meet her eyes.

"I need you, Wyatt, and if that hasn't changed by now then I don't think it ever will."

He was having a hard time processing her words. The part of him that had been shattered by losing Rufus and losing Lucy repeatedly chanted his weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws as if he needed the reminder. The push and pull between his taped together heart and his fractured self esteem prevented him from responding to her within an acceptable amount of time. He knew he should say _something_ , but he couldn't.

Eventually, Lucy sighed sadly and removed her hands from his face.

"But then again just because it hasn't changed for me, doesn't mean it hasn't changed for you. I can't really blame you. It's not as though I was the only one hurt in all of this or that you were the only one to make mistakes," She muttered as she stepped out of his space. Her forlorn eyes shifted to the grimey concrete floor of the bunker as she started to turn her back on him to return to her cot. "I don't blame you if you've changed your-"

Her words finally sunk in through his hard headed skull and he realized she was giving him an out. He didn't need or want an out. He told her that he loved her and he meant it. He meant it in every sense of the word. He was in love with Lucy Preston, completely and eternally. He frantically reached out, wrapped a hand around her wrist, and spun her back around to face him.

"Nothing could ever change my mind about you, Lucy. Please, don't ever think that," he said in a voice that was thick with pleading desperation. He slowly reeled her back in until she was once again filling all of his personal space. "I love you and I never expected you to say those words back to me. I know it's a long shot. I know that I'm an asshole and if I could I would do so many things differently with you-I...I haven't been talking to you because-because I don't deserve to. I don't deserve to be needed by you or anyone else. I screwed up everything good in my life. I don't deserve to get any of it back."

"Oh, Wyatt," Lucy replied with a sympathetic sigh. Her eyes held an impossible amount of understanding and concern. It was too much. He wasn't worthy of it. "You made some mistakes, yes, but you didn't screw _everything_ up and what is broken can still be fixed," she admitted as she placed her hands in his and laced their fingers together. "I just can't fix it all by myself. Besides, I-I miss you. I miss us. It took me some time to admit it to myself. But I know now that I want that back. I want _you_ back."

Her warm brown eyes glistened with unshed tears and he was amazed by the sincerity in her voice. She really meant all of it. She had two weeks of silence and space since their future selves left and Rufus was rescued and he just assumed he had lost his chance, _lost her_ , but he was glad to be wrong. He was thankful for her compassion and forgiveness and humbled by the idea she was letting him earn both of those things. He didn't deserve it but he appreciated it nonetheless.

"I miss us too," he told her on a shaky exhale.

His voice came out hushed and quiet. Even to his own ears he sounded so unlike himself. But she heard him. She heard him above his nerves and above his regrets. She heard him above his self loathing. She just heard _him_. When no one else understood, he could count on Lucy. She was always steady and constant and breathtakingly _unconditional_.

"Then please stop hiding from me," she requested as she let her own hands travel up his arms until they rested on the back of his neck. "I'm sure you think you're doing me a favor but it's the opposite of what I want."

His solemn and awed expression gave way to a soft smile at her bossy tone. Oh, yes, he had missed this. "Understood, ma'am."

Her narrowed eyes relaxed and a warm grin slowly spread across her face at the sound of his agreement, likely because of his agreement and the way he had worded it. He hadn't called her 'ma'am' in ages. It felt too important to taint with sadness and longing so he avoided it while Jessica was around. He tried to save that particular endearment for when they needed levity or hope and right now it felt like they needed both.

"Also," she said as she worried her bottom lip. "If we're doing this, no more disappearing acts and we stop hiding things from each other. We navigate this together or we don't navigate it all."

He was too happy to hear her saying things like 'we' and 'together' to argue even if he wanted to, which he did not. Because she was right. The bigger issue was that they had tried to hide their hearts. It was a mistake that cost them both greatly and they couldn't afford to do it again.

"No running away and no bullshit," he said with a nod and a crooked smirk. "Those are the kind of orders I can get behind."

The newfound light in her eyes dimmed slightly before she spoke again. "I'm sorry that I couldn't say the the words—"

He knew they'd get back to this eventually. He shook his head at her and wrapped his arms around her waist. This time he didn't hesitate to pull her against him. "Stop. No need for that," he said quickly. "I didn't tell you I love you to make you feel guilty or force your hand. I have never resented you for not saying them back to me. Honestly, I never expected to hear you say you missed me, let alone that you loved me. I'm not trying to manipulate you like your mother, Lucy. I would never do that." As he spoke he gathered her even closer and tucked her into him. He felt her head rest on his shoulder and, while he still had the nerve, he placed a kiss to the top of her dark waves. "I told you because I should have told you a long time ago, because I needed to quit lying to myself, and because I let you believe you were second in my heart and you _deserved_ to know how untrue that really was. I have wanted you more than anything else this whole time. Even when I was such a goddamn asshole to you, all I wanted was _you._ You have no reason to believe me when I say that but I swear it's the truth."

"No running away, no bullshit." Her voice was muffled against his shoulder. He felt, more than heard, her deep inhale and shaky exhale before she lifted her head to speak. Her gaze stayed glued to the buttons of his flannel shirt as she spoke. "I-I have always loved you, Wyatt. I have loved you probably longer than you ever thought possible. Even when I wished I could hate you, just to make things easier, I still loved you. I can't seem to stop. So, yes, I do love you, but…"

His throat suddenly went dry and his heart slammed against his chest as her sentence trailed off. But...what? He didn't have to ask. She elaborated after a long lingering moment. He could hear the weight of tears in her voice. The emotional damage she suffered since that first mission to 1937 was painfully clear in every pause or silence she took. She was gathering up the shards of her heart and willing herself to be strong every time she spoke. She was pushing her way through her pain and her fear. Just when he thought he couldn't love her any more than he already did, she reminded him how impressive she was and he fell just a little further.

"But...loving something or someone never seems to go well. I-I keep losing people. Saying those words to you felt like uttering a curse," she said as a silent tear slid down her cheek. "And you've been through enough, so, I couldn't do that to you or to myself. Rittenhouse has already tried to seperate us once. I know they'll try it again. Especially with Emma in charge now-"

"They can try," Wyatt told her as he leaned forward and pressed his dry cheek to her wet one. "But I'm never letting that happen. Not again. I know better now. I know what I want and who I need to be the best version of myself. I want to love you and I need to be around you. A part of me has known that since at least 1934 Arkansas and like an idiot I tried to run from that. But I'm not doing that anymore. No running away-"

"No bullshit," Lucy finished for him with a sniffle as she turned her head and nuzzled her nose against his.

"Exactly. You're not cursed, Lucy," Wyatt assured her as he stared at her closed eyelids. Her tears were silently flowing now and he needed to soothe them. For her sake and for his. "In all the time I've known you, you've never let fear hold you back. Don't start now, Professor. If you want to love me, and only if you want to, then there is nothing I won't do to fight for that. To fight for _you._ I tried giving you up and it's no good. I'm never doing that again. So, let them come at us if they want, it won't scare me off. I'm here now and I'm never leaving you again."

He saw a smirk tug at the corners of her mouth before she spoke with a waterlogged chuckle. " _Never_ again? That sounds like you plan to follow me around wherever I go and I don't know, Wyatt, that seems a little excessive."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes at her. "Maybe, but I'm not taking any chances. Not with you. Not anymore."

Her eyes opened and for the first time in what felt like decades he saw genuine hope shining in them. "No more chances? You mean you don't think we're taking one by...choosing each other?"

"There are two things in my life I'm certain about now. One of them is my friendship with Rufus," Wyatt told her with a slight nod. "And the other is _you_. So, no, there is no chance or risk involved with choosing you, Lucy."

He almost forgot what a crushing Lucy Preston hug felt like. She hadn't gifted him with one in too long. There was a brief moment of silence and then suddenly, despite their closeness, she threw herself into him. Her arms wrapped around his torso tightly, and she rested her chin on his shoulder. He sucked in a surprised breath and held her just as tight as she held him. They swayed slightly as they let themselves be surrounded by each other and he took it all in. Committed it to memory. The smell of her hair, the softness of it pressing into his not-quite beard, her soft curves pressed into him, the sound of her contented sigh in his ear. He catalogued every detail. He had to because this was the moment where the world felt right again.

He felt unbalanced from the minute Jessica's text message popped up on his phone until _now_. The missing part of his equilibrium had been Lucy Preston all along. He should have known. He should have seen the signs so much earlier than he did. He always spiraled without her to ground him. But now she was back in his arms and the funhouse effect of losing her was over.

This was how things were meant to be. There was still work to do but they could do it. He had never ending faith in the two of them. He loved her and she loved him. He wasn't denying it anymore.

No running away. No bullshit.


End file.
